"Ye Olde Spooky Spasms"
(2026)
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had these strange movements I call spasms. Whatever they were, they always had the same impact when I was in 2nd-11th grade: embarrassment. I would be minding my business during a slow, boring afternoon in the middle of those tight rows that consisted of single-seating desks when I would feel that inevitable tension in my joints. What followed was always a few tense twitches of my head, half-suppressed hand shaking, or abrupt floor kicks. I remember how my whole body would stiffen and my gaze would lock onto whatever was taking up desk space in front of me as I would spiral. Did anyone see that? Will they hate me now? What is wrong with me? Why do I do this? I suppose no one really did care, but how was I supposed to know?
In the years before I turned 17, the spasms would sometimes not occur for multiple days at a time. After I reached that age, however, they would remain daily with several hour gaps between each incident. Due to high school being a high-stress environment with the constant crash of classroom doors shutting, kids ear-piercingly screeching, pencils brutally scratching against paper, and nonstop chattering during lectures, it started to take a toll. Each sound was like someone taking a knife to my skull, plunging it through the thick layers of bone, and pushing it through the long noodle that makes up my brain. This initial pain would bleed into several spasms. The most common were tongue clicks, leg shaking, and various forms of hand flailing which then streamlined into persistent embarrassment and confusion. On one hand, I finally had situations I could tie the spasms back to. On the other hand, however, I was burdened by more and more internalized humiliation. My eyes would always dart around to make sure no one was staring at me, and I had more trouble focusing in class.
By 12th grade, around a year had passed since the spasms started occurring daily. Initially, of course, I was constantly tense. When will the next one hit? Has anyone started talking about it? How much attention has been put onto me, and how do I get rid of it? These questions constantly kept me on edge in 11th grade and had continued to at the beginning of 12th grade. They floated in my brain like jellyfish in a current, unable to be controlled and consequently moving into my focus. It wasn’t until I was staring at the ground or the ceiling while I walked like any other day prior that it finally clicked. No one had ever said anything about my movements at the time.
That’s right, not once throughout my entire lifespan had anyone ever said anything about it until this year, despite how much I dwelled upon it. The events that lead up to this circumstance occurred during a vacation I went on with my grandma and my cousin. We went to a very loud and exhausting place called Busch Gardens as well as an equally draining yet somehow dirtier establishment called Splash Adventure Water Park. The mid-day summer heat was harshly beating down on us while we tried to navigate Busch Gardens, which wasn’t exactly easy. We ended up going in circles through significantly tall slopes and tight queue lines. My grandma somehow managed to get her bulky mobility scooter through queue line bars that were so close together, they were the same width apart as the scooter was wide, which was incredibly distressing to watch. Splash Adventure Water Park wasn’t any better, as there wasn’t a single bathroom that wasn’t overwhelming. One bathroom was infested with spiders, another had a broken automatic hand dryer that wouldn’t shut up, and the last one was just really grimy. On top of this, my grandma was experiencing Hell on Earth just so that me and my cousin could remotely enjoy ourselves, which made me really upset on her behalf. All of these little things surmounted into me having the most spasms I had ever had in a week-long period. They were almost constant. At my worst moment was when my grandma asked, “do you have tourettes?” I finally wasn’t the one asking questions.
In conclusion, I do not have tourettes. I don’t know what I have, but I do know one thing: I am a huge projector. No one has expressed that they care about how I spasm. My grandma was simply concerned and wanted to find a solution, completely demolishing my lifelong worries. It was a lesson not to get into my head about stuff. Nowadays when I spiral, I face it with logic and disassemble it.
In the years before I turned 17, the spasms would sometimes not occur for multiple days at a time. After I reached that age, however, they would remain daily with several hour gaps between each incident. Due to high school being a high-stress environment with the constant crash of classroom doors shutting, kids ear-piercingly screeching, pencils brutally scratching against paper, and nonstop chattering during lectures, it started to take a toll. Each sound was like someone taking a knife to my skull, plunging it through the thick layers of bone, and pushing it through the long noodle that makes up my brain. This initial pain would bleed into several spasms. The most common were tongue clicks, leg shaking, and various forms of hand flailing which then streamlined into persistent embarrassment and confusion. On one hand, I finally had situations I could tie the spasms back to. On the other hand, however, I was burdened by more and more internalized humiliation. My eyes would always dart around to make sure no one was staring at me, and I had more trouble focusing in class.
By 12th grade, around a year had passed since the spasms started occurring daily. Initially, of course, I was constantly tense. When will the next one hit? Has anyone started talking about it? How much attention has been put onto me, and how do I get rid of it? These questions constantly kept me on edge in 11th grade and had continued to at the beginning of 12th grade. They floated in my brain like jellyfish in a current, unable to be controlled and consequently moving into my focus. It wasn’t until I was staring at the ground or the ceiling while I walked like any other day prior that it finally clicked. No one had ever said anything about my movements at the time.
That’s right, not once throughout my entire lifespan had anyone ever said anything about it until this year, despite how much I dwelled upon it. The events that lead up to this circumstance occurred during a vacation I went on with my grandma and my cousin. We went to a very loud and exhausting place called Busch Gardens as well as an equally draining yet somehow dirtier establishment called Splash Adventure Water Park. The mid-day summer heat was harshly beating down on us while we tried to navigate Busch Gardens, which wasn’t exactly easy. We ended up going in circles through significantly tall slopes and tight queue lines. My grandma somehow managed to get her bulky mobility scooter through queue line bars that were so close together, they were the same width apart as the scooter was wide, which was incredibly distressing to watch. Splash Adventure Water Park wasn’t any better, as there wasn’t a single bathroom that wasn’t overwhelming. One bathroom was infested with spiders, another had a broken automatic hand dryer that wouldn’t shut up, and the last one was just really grimy. On top of this, my grandma was experiencing Hell on Earth just so that me and my cousin could remotely enjoy ourselves, which made me really upset on her behalf. All of these little things surmounted into me having the most spasms I had ever had in a week-long period. They were almost constant. At my worst moment was when my grandma asked, “do you have tourettes?” I finally wasn’t the one asking questions.
In conclusion, I do not have tourettes. I don’t know what I have, but I do know one thing: I am a huge projector. No one has expressed that they care about how I spasm. My grandma was simply concerned and wanted to find a solution, completely demolishing my lifelong worries. It was a lesson not to get into my head about stuff. Nowadays when I spiral, I face it with logic and disassemble it.
What's all That About?
This is a micro-memoir I did during my first year of college! To be honest, I wrote it similar to how I would a diary entry- if my diary entries were graded. Since it was my first time having a word limit, I had to unfortunately omit many important details. To coincide with that, I think I should have tried to make the level of detail for each segment equal. The beginning starts out strong, but the end starts to crumble due to the detail imbalance. Either way, it was an enjoyable project!
This is a micro-memoir I did during my first year of college! To be honest, I wrote it similar to how I would a diary entry- if my diary entries were graded. Since it was my first time having a word limit, I had to unfortunately omit many important details. To coincide with that, I think I should have tried to make the level of detail for each segment equal. The beginning starts out strong, but the end starts to crumble due to the detail imbalance. Either way, it was an enjoyable project!
"Regarding Evil Furballs and T.gondii...."
(2026)
It wasn’t until 1908 that humanity would discover Toxoplasma gondii (T. gondii); a parasite with ongoing research regarding its impact on the human brain and mental health. It wouldn’t be until even later- specifically when the parasite was identified within a congenitally infected infant in 1939- that T. gondii would be pushed into the gaze of more researchers. Further down the timeline, the Sabin-Feldman dye test would be discovered in 1948, allowing T. gondii specific antibodies to be identified. This led to William Hutchinson’s discovery of oocysts that were shed in cat feces by the parasite during the infectious stage of its life cycle in the 1960s. Furthermore, cats would be figuratively thrown under the microscope in 1970 by Gordan Wallace, who had concluded that several remote Pacific Islands lacked this microscopic critter because they did not have any cats. As a result of this, the US Public Health institute would recommend women to avoid interaction with cat feces in 1971 (Dubey; The Stanley Medical Research Institute). With this context, it’s safe to assume the spread of T. gondii has been associated with cats for a long time. However, are cats really what you should be worried about when it comes to the spread of this currently incurable toxoplasma? What other sources of infection are there? Most importantly, what is the most common way T. gondii spreads from host to host?
When I first heard of this creepy creature, I thought it was a bacterial illness, not a parasite. All I knew about it was that humans could catch it from cats. In fact, I had assumed that people could only acquire it from cat feces and nothing more. Evidently, this is not the case. In “Toxoplasma gondii: transmission, diagnosis and prevention,” Hill and Dubey highlight how “Humans become infected by ingesting tissue cysts in undercooked or uncooked meat by ingesting food and water contaminated with oocysts from infected cats faeces.” Although there was another mention to cats contaminating food, some of this also seems to be from separate animals as well. This led me to question if those animals were also infected by contamination from cat feces or if they acquired it from entirely separate animals. Because it is suspected that around one-third of the overall population has this parasite (Bisetegn), I’m not sure it would make sense for cat feces to be the sole source of contamination. This made me seek out stories of mass T. gondii outbreaks from any sort of food or water contamination. I ended up finding an article describing how 250 people were exposed to T. gondii via a wild game dinner from contaminated venison steaks, which were observed to be “never frozen” and kept “raw before preparation, where they were intentionally grilled rare to medium-rare prior to serving at both events,” (Barrett et al.) Because the steak was left unfrozen, unlike all the other pieces of venison, it had time to grow T. gondii. Although it isn’t explained how the deer picked up the parasite, it does show an example of how it spreads via contamination. My important question was also answered between this source and other sources: food contamination is the most common way of getting T. gondii (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). It doesn’t exactly matter if you came in contact with a cat because almost any animal can become a host. You also can’t just touch a cat and catch it- you typically have to ingest it in some way.
Overall, I’m not sure if I really found what I was initially looking for, but at the same time, it’s definitely a start. I think finding the source, if possible, of how these animals got contaminated in the first place could be an interesting rabbit hole. Did it all start at the cat, or was it from something else the animals ate? Due to the natural food chain, one can only assume how many animals ate each other before something like that aforementioned venison landed upon someone’s plate. Many agree that this is a common parasite, that it sometimes brings with it detrimental health defects, and that tons of people have it, but what are we doing about it? I think that if I were to keep looking into this subject, that is where I would go next.
Works Cited
The Stanley Medical Research Institute, 2014,
https://www.stanleyresearch.org/patient-and-provider-resources/toxoplasmosis-schizophrenia-research/transmission-of-t-gondii/
Dubey. The history of Toxoplasma gondii– the first 100 years. 2008. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19120791/
Hill & Dubey. Toxoplasma gondii: transmission, diagnosis, and prevention. 2002. https://research.ebsco.com/c/imx7og/viewer/pdf/b2c5elolvj?modal=cite
Bisetegn et al. Global seroprevalence of Toxoplasma gondii infection among patients with mental and neurological disorders: A systematic review and meta-analysis. 2023. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10242185/
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Toxoplasmosis: Causes and How it Spreads. 2025. https://www.cdc.gov/toxoplasmosis/causes/index.html
When I first heard of this creepy creature, I thought it was a bacterial illness, not a parasite. All I knew about it was that humans could catch it from cats. In fact, I had assumed that people could only acquire it from cat feces and nothing more. Evidently, this is not the case. In “Toxoplasma gondii: transmission, diagnosis and prevention,” Hill and Dubey highlight how “Humans become infected by ingesting tissue cysts in undercooked or uncooked meat by ingesting food and water contaminated with oocysts from infected cats faeces.” Although there was another mention to cats contaminating food, some of this also seems to be from separate animals as well. This led me to question if those animals were also infected by contamination from cat feces or if they acquired it from entirely separate animals. Because it is suspected that around one-third of the overall population has this parasite (Bisetegn), I’m not sure it would make sense for cat feces to be the sole source of contamination. This made me seek out stories of mass T. gondii outbreaks from any sort of food or water contamination. I ended up finding an article describing how 250 people were exposed to T. gondii via a wild game dinner from contaminated venison steaks, which were observed to be “never frozen” and kept “raw before preparation, where they were intentionally grilled rare to medium-rare prior to serving at both events,” (Barrett et al.) Because the steak was left unfrozen, unlike all the other pieces of venison, it had time to grow T. gondii. Although it isn’t explained how the deer picked up the parasite, it does show an example of how it spreads via contamination. My important question was also answered between this source and other sources: food contamination is the most common way of getting T. gondii (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). It doesn’t exactly matter if you came in contact with a cat because almost any animal can become a host. You also can’t just touch a cat and catch it- you typically have to ingest it in some way.
Overall, I’m not sure if I really found what I was initially looking for, but at the same time, it’s definitely a start. I think finding the source, if possible, of how these animals got contaminated in the first place could be an interesting rabbit hole. Did it all start at the cat, or was it from something else the animals ate? Due to the natural food chain, one can only assume how many animals ate each other before something like that aforementioned venison landed upon someone’s plate. Many agree that this is a common parasite, that it sometimes brings with it detrimental health defects, and that tons of people have it, but what are we doing about it? I think that if I were to keep looking into this subject, that is where I would go next.
Works Cited
The Stanley Medical Research Institute, 2014,
https://www.stanleyresearch.org/patient-and-provider-resources/toxoplasmosis-schizophrenia-research/transmission-of-t-gondii/
Dubey. The history of Toxoplasma gondii– the first 100 years. 2008. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19120791/
Hill & Dubey. Toxoplasma gondii: transmission, diagnosis, and prevention. 2002. https://research.ebsco.com/c/imx7og/viewer/pdf/b2c5elolvj?modal=cite
Bisetegn et al. Global seroprevalence of Toxoplasma gondii infection among patients with mental and neurological disorders: A systematic review and meta-analysis. 2023. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10242185/
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Toxoplasmosis: Causes and How it Spreads. 2025. https://www.cdc.gov/toxoplasmosis/causes/index.html
Well, that was something!
Yeaaah, this one is definitely not the best, but this stuff is a learning curve, you know? Basically, this is an inquiry essay I had to do for English Compositon I. It's a little rushed because burnout hit me and I had to get an extension, but I got it done! Yay! All I can say is to hold onto your mistakes or subpar work as a teaching moment. Sure, this isn't amazing, but at the same time, it could always be worse. I'm pretty sure that if I handed this to an employer, I would either get fired or never hired to begin with, but oh well, I'm still figuring it out. There's no shame in doing this stuff wrong anyways. Many generations ago, we were still cave men. Take that as you will!
Yeaaah, this one is definitely not the best, but this stuff is a learning curve, you know? Basically, this is an inquiry essay I had to do for English Compositon I. It's a little rushed because burnout hit me and I had to get an extension, but I got it done! Yay! All I can say is to hold onto your mistakes or subpar work as a teaching moment. Sure, this isn't amazing, but at the same time, it could always be worse. I'm pretty sure that if I handed this to an employer, I would either get fired or never hired to begin with, but oh well, I'm still figuring it out. There's no shame in doing this stuff wrong anyways. Many generations ago, we were still cave men. Take that as you will!
My Reflection After Reading
"Theories of Intelligence" by Bruce Ballenger
(2026)
As a self-conscious person, this entire text stood out to me. I had teachers who would belittle me for small mistakes, which had long lasting impacts on my self esteem. I also noticed how some of my peers, particularly when it comes to fields revolving science, tend to be more aggressive and showy. The field is competitive, sure, but workplaces inevitably do not support that type of demeanor. I have watched many people at my dad’s job get let go for their behavior, for example. In fact, two days ago, I overheard some of my classmates judging my biology teacher for not knowing the answer to all of her questions, despite her not being a search engine and instead a literal human being. There’s also this girl in there who answers a majority of the questions my bio professor asks, so people get judgy with that too. It is very frustrating, so it was nice to see I’m not the only one who holds the opinion that mistakes or not knowing everything doesn’t make you stupid.
Insert tragic villain story here!
Just kidding! Anywho, I wrote this for some extra credit after reading "Theories of Intelligence" by Bruce Ballenger. Seriously though, when I started going to UWF, I thought I would escape people like this. Boy was I wrong! I suppose it was kind of foolish of me though, considering how I see a lot of older adults act too. Either way, just like "Regarding Evil Furballs and T. gondi....," I have mixed feelings about this one. However, again, I also see it as another opportunity to grow. Both of them have that in common, eh?
Just kidding! Anywho, I wrote this for some extra credit after reading "Theories of Intelligence" by Bruce Ballenger. Seriously though, when I started going to UWF, I thought I would escape people like this. Boy was I wrong! I suppose it was kind of foolish of me though, considering how I see a lot of older adults act too. Either way, just like "Regarding Evil Furballs and T. gondi....," I have mixed feelings about this one. However, again, I also see it as another opportunity to grow. Both of them have that in common, eh?
My Favorite Diary Entries
"In the past, I was too judgemental and cynical. In the present, fear is holding me back (as well as self doubt). In the future, I need to wait before making a decision."
"What do you think it means to live? Is it achieving something others could not? Is it experiencing life to its fullest? Is it traveling to places to experience cultures? When the moon rises and the sun sets in an endless cycle, who stares back at you? Is it yourself? Is it someone you've long forgotten? Is it who you could have been? The answers others provide to these questions may not always apply, for living is subjective."
"When will you ever be satisfied?"
"What do you think it means to live? Is it achieving something others could not? Is it experiencing life to its fullest? Is it traveling to places to experience cultures? When the moon rises and the sun sets in an endless cycle, who stares back at you? Is it yourself? Is it someone you've long forgotten? Is it who you could have been? The answers others provide to these questions may not always apply, for living is subjective."
"When will you ever be satisfied?"
What's up?
These are currently my favorite entries that I've pulled from several notebooks, journals and diaries. As I add onto this segment, more and more of my past mindsets will be revealed. Looking back at old entries can really help transport you to a past time in your life, good or bad, that can be learned from later on in life. Something that can help you come to terms with past events or mindsets is responding to yourself. For example, you could find an old entry that was negative at the time and turn it into something positive. So, if you were worried that you were going to die on a specific date, you could come back a few years later and tell yourself that you haven't died just yet. It can be very therapeutic or outright amusing!
These are currently my favorite entries that I've pulled from several notebooks, journals and diaries. As I add onto this segment, more and more of my past mindsets will be revealed. Looking back at old entries can really help transport you to a past time in your life, good or bad, that can be learned from later on in life. Something that can help you come to terms with past events or mindsets is responding to yourself. For example, you could find an old entry that was negative at the time and turn it into something positive. So, if you were worried that you were going to die on a specific date, you could come back a few years later and tell yourself that you haven't died just yet. It can be very therapeutic or outright amusing!
My Favorite Quotes
"Wow! An author! Will you teach me how to read?"
-Deputy Durland, Gravity Falls
"Real Egyptian silk, mmm mmm...."
-Murdoc Niccals, Gorillaz
"All your life, you'll meet people that only want to break you down. Forget them. Stand strong with the people who build you up."
-Markiplier
"I'm not an astronaut! I put the 'not' in astronaut! I've never done a space walk, I can't even moonwalk! I haven't done any training, I haven't done the whole... the pool thing!"
-Ryland Grace, Project Hail Mary
"Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth."
-Dr. Henry Wu, Jurassic World
"He was 2,500 pounds of awesome."
-Newt, Pacific Rim
“We will win this battle because we are fighting for our lives and the lives of our Clanmates. Our enemies are already dead. They fight only out of hate and that will be their weakness.”
"Mistakes are where we learn the most."
-Blue Star, Warriors
“Now I realize that there is no righteous path, it’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it is far too easy to do your worst”.
-Castiel, Supernatural
"I didn't really fall. I just, you know, sauntered vaguely downstairs."
-Crowley, Good Omens
"Everybody Needs a towel!"
-Towelie, South Park
-Deputy Durland, Gravity Falls
"Real Egyptian silk, mmm mmm...."
-Murdoc Niccals, Gorillaz
"All your life, you'll meet people that only want to break you down. Forget them. Stand strong with the people who build you up."
-Markiplier
"I'm not an astronaut! I put the 'not' in astronaut! I've never done a space walk, I can't even moonwalk! I haven't done any training, I haven't done the whole... the pool thing!"
-Ryland Grace, Project Hail Mary
"Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth."
-Dr. Henry Wu, Jurassic World
"He was 2,500 pounds of awesome."
-Newt, Pacific Rim
“We will win this battle because we are fighting for our lives and the lives of our Clanmates. Our enemies are already dead. They fight only out of hate and that will be their weakness.”
"Mistakes are where we learn the most."
-Blue Star, Warriors
“Now I realize that there is no righteous path, it’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it is far too easy to do your worst”.
-Castiel, Supernatural
"I didn't really fall. I just, you know, sauntered vaguely downstairs."
-Crowley, Good Omens
"Everybody Needs a towel!"
-Towelie, South Park
